I used to be a biiiig reader.
Back in my elementary school and middle school years, I gobbled books up like a hungry hungry hippo that eats books. Everything from the Redwall series, to Eragon, to the Redwall series, to Ender’s Game, to graphic novels, to Harry Potter, to the Redwall series.
For context, Brian Jacques wrote over 20 Redwall books, and I’m pretty sure I read every single one:
I remember bringing books into the bathroom to read when I was supposed to be doing math homework. “Are you reading in there?” my mom would yell through the door. “No, just pooping!” I would lie. Since IBS runs in the family, spending half an hour on the toilet wasn’t an anomaly, so I sometimes got away with it. Other times, she let me even though she knew it was a lie; like that old adage says, it’s no use chastising a pooping child.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the road, I lost my drive. I blame school partially, for turning reading from an escape into an assignment. I am exactly the kind of stubborn where even if I love a book on the reading list, the second it becomes homework, I loathe it. I guess that wasn’t really the school’s fault, but when in doubt, blame the establishment.
Do I want to be the kind of person who settles into a statement chair with a steaming mug of tea and reads four chapters of a Joan Didion novel before heading to bed, my phone forgotten in the kitchen? Absolutely. What usually ends up happening, though, is I go to pick up a book that I have purchased, get one page in, check my phone, scroll for a bit, remember that I should probably water my plants, go do that, return to the book, get waylaid by a phone notification, then watch tiktoks until my brain is sufficiently, splendidly mushy, then sleep (poorly).
I am trying to coax my brain to love reading again like a shelter dog who does not trust me. I am sitting on the floor, offering treats at arm’s length. Good, animal penis-based treats. None of that Greenies shit. The hope is that it will eventually trust me enough to give it a little scritch. And if bully sticks are all that helps, so be it.
My rule for myself is that I must always have an audiobook on loan, but that if it’s not grabbing me, I will not feel guilty for putting it down and starting a new one. I found that the result of my thinking “I should really keep trying with this one… maybe it just starts slow” was that I would simply stop reading completely. I’ve learned to be realistic with myself. Like that old adage says, it’s no use chastising a pooping child. (I am CHORTLING writing this.)
Over time, I have found out that what consistently draws me in is romance.
You’ll notice that this newsletter is titled “Romances Part One,” and that’s because I have a lot of thoughts on the genre - from preconceived notions about the format, to why it’s my favorite thing to write, and why I believe so many modern romcoms - for lack of a better phrase - suck butt. But we’re sticking to books today!
For the life of me, I can’t figure out what defining factor makes a romance YA (young adult) vs. adult. In some cases, it seems to just be about the ages of the main characters, but god knows teenagers go through some shit. Sometimes it’s about the explicit nature of the material (especially in this current age where a lot of romance borders on porn), but sometimes these “adult” smutty novels are written in such a juvenile and predictable way that it feels impossible that other adults would enjoy them.
Most infuriatingly to me, I think a lot of people classify any book in which the romance succeeds as juvenile. I find that really sad and nihilistic. I also think it’s easier for people who are happily wed to make statements like that. Some of us still need to believe that love is alive, okay!!
At any rate, I have returned to book-gobbling - mainly audiobooks, and mainly romances - without much consideration for if they’re considered YA or adult.
Because I am nothing if not generous, I thought I’d share my reading history over the last few years with you, divided into subcategories for easy perusal. I think this list is most useful for if you are like me, and trying your best to get back into reading. However, if you’re a Steinbeck fan already (Stanbecks? Of Mice and Mennonites? Grape Apologists?), enjoy this little glimpse into my Libby account.
Note: I do read non-romances! However, I kept this list to romances only, and omitted books in the following categories:
Books in which there is a romance but it’s not the heart of the story (ie fantasy epics, coming-of-age stories, multiple storylines)
True smut reads (where there is a romance but it’s really more about the sex)
Books by authors I know personally or professionally (go read Things I Should Have Known by Claire LaZebnik RIGHT NOW)
Books that I didn’t finish (felt unfair!)
Additionally, I have two categories at the end that are paywalled, which detail books I did not particularly care for. This is a) to give my paying subscribers something special, and b) because the categories are kind of mean and I don’t want to hurt any feelings by posting them publicly. <3
The List!
*Books centering a queer romance are bolded. Because we are BOLDLY sharing our LOVE STORIES in a WORLD THAT - (I get hit in the face mid-sentence by a live fish.)
Romances That Changed My Life
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
The Binding by Bridget Collins
Brokeback Mountain (short story) by Annie Proulx
Lexicon by Max Barry
Manacled by SenLinYu
Luck in the Shadows (series) by Lynn Flewelling
Landline by Rainbow Rowell
I Would Heartily Recommend (to Romance-Readers)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman
This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
Attachments by Rainbow Rowell
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld
Beach Read by Emily Henry
Book Lovers by Emily Henry
Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman
History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera
Normal People by Sally Rooney
Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez
Kinda Silly But Very Important to Me
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (the only book I have read thrice)
Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
I Really Enjoyed It! But Not A Must-Read
The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles
A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows
Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez
Happy Place by Emily Henry
Honey and Spice by Bolu Babalola
Seven Days in June by Tia Williams
Paladin’s Grace (trilogy) by Ursula Vernon
Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen
Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren